Facebook is a haunting ground…
For a girl like me. A girl who’s glad she’s different now. Facebook is a head-on collision of my past and my present, and that freaks me out. Honestly, there are people I was relieved that I would never see again in my life. I’m feeling robbed. I didn’t want to see them again NOT because of who they are but because of who I was. People with first-hand knowledge of what an idiot-psycho I was in college.
Mine is not a life without regrets. The incongruity of my past and present makes Facebook awkward and sometimes nauseating. There were great friends from that time – friends who “got” me – who might not get me at all now. I was a Saul. I made fun of people like me.
Just today I reconnected with a college friend (one I was glad to see), and I began to read a little on his blog. In a post about Facebook and nostalgia, he helped me pinpoint why I have this friendly disdain for FB. And I am going to totally rip off a quote from him that nailed it for me. Everything buried is not treasure.
So why do I Facebook (not sure I dig that as a verb form)? It’s just like watching the scary movie through your fingers over your eyes. I can’t not Facebook.
It’s probably healthy for me in a torturous kinda way. Isn’t that what the New Year is about anyway? Healthy torture.