Facebook is a haunting ground…

For a girl like me. A girl who’s glad she’s different now. Facebook is a head-on collision of my past and my present, and that freaks me out. Honestly, there are people I was relieved that I would never see again in my life. I’m feeling robbed. I didn’t want to see them again NOT because of who they are but because of who I was. People with first-hand knowledge of what an idiot-psycho I was in college.

Mine is not a life without regrets. The incongruity of my past and present makes Facebook awkward and sometimes nauseating. There were great friends from that time – friends who “got” me – who might not get me at all now. I was a Saul. I made fun of people like me.

Just today I reconnected with a college friend (one I was glad to see), and I began to read a little on his blog. In a post about Facebook and nostalgia, he helped me pinpoint why I have this friendly disdain for FB. And I am going to totally rip off a quote from him that nailed it for me. Everything buried is not treasure.

True.

So why do I Facebook (not sure I dig that as a verb form)? It’s just like watching the scary movie through your fingers over your eyes. I can’t not Facebook.

It’s probably healthy for me in a torturous kinda way. Isn’t that what the New Year is about anyway? Healthy torture.

BRAKE Down
I'm feelin' it...

7 Comments

  1. Jenn in GA
    January 9, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    so glad you’re posting again! you were missed…

    i have other issues with facebook, but i can see why it’s so weird for you. i don’t like the selective way people can interact on that site. create an image that’s not holistic and purport it as reality.

    i’m not a regular on the site, but i participate from time to time. it’s tricky stuff…letting the past and present mingle.

  2. Angela Ramsey
    January 9, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    Well, for me I am a different person than I was in high school and college. It has been about letting people see who I am know and what i am doing. Maybe Facebook is a great way for you to show your testimony of where God has brought you from! For me I am who I am and I do not try to hide it even on Facebook even though at times my mother will ask me to remove something because she is afraid people will judge her because of what I do or listen to. That is a whole other story in itself!

  3. Crystal
    CrystalReply
    January 9, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    I am so glad that you are back. I thoroughly enjoy reading your blogs and have missed it the last couple of weeks.

  4. Scarlett
    January 10, 2009 at 5:02 am

    Love the “Everything buried is not a treasure” quote 🙂 Here’s hoping that all I have buried that is NOT treasure, will in the very least turn to compost and despite the rotteness of it all….fertilize my roots… producing a beautiful bouquet as an unexpected byproduct!

    Glad to see you back! Happy New year to you and Chris and the girls! Love and miss ya!

  5. Mary Nell
    Mary NellReply
    January 10, 2009 at 9:45 pm

    I’ve missed your blogs–glad you are back! I think what is great to see about connecting your past and present is that your core personality is still the same–you still have the same great sense of humor and compassion, etc. as always. It is how you are being used for Jesus that is different–and that is great for people to see.

  6. Michelle@Life with Three
    January 11, 2009 at 3:01 am

    I love the “everything buried is not treasure” quote, as well. So true and well said.

    I don’t do Facebook (although everyone says I should). But, I can see how it could be weird mixing the past and present. I’m definitely not the same person I was in high school and college.

    Glad to see you’re getting back to blogging! Looking forward to reading more soon!

  7. Kyle
    January 13, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    Facebook is an evil addiction that once you start, you cannot control.

    Good-luck!

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