I’m in a quandary. I need a certain amount of “breathing” time in my day and in my life to process events, feelings, stresses, etc… Many of you know that Chris is out of town for two weeks, so I don’t expect to do much “breathing” or processing during that time. I certainly haven’t done any today, so I come before you tonight as a jumble of random thoughts and raw emotions. That’s all I have to offer, so here goes my potluck post:

• One of my fillings from last week is hot/cold sensitive. Is that normal?
• I miss my husband. I am often ornery to live with, and there are many evenings when I am so spent that I feel that I have nothing left to offer him. Not time. Not conversation. Not attention. I shut down. The “Sorry, We’re Closed. Please Come Again” sign gets flipped when the last daughter is tucked in. Sometimes I can get so focused on seeking opportunities to minister in my Judea (the convenience store, the park, my neighborhood) that I miss opportunities to minister at my own address. And I fail to acknowledge and truly appreciate the way he ministers to me. Like how he totally cracks me up several times a day. Like how we enjoy the gift of sarcasm. Like how he shares the scoop from his ninety-seven phone conversations and I share from my two. Like how he slices the frozen pizza (I didn’t even realize that he always does that until I had to do it tonight). I won’t belabor the point, so as to spare you the mush, but you get what I’m sayin‘…
• This song is the bomb!!! Check it out on itunes – “At the Foot of the Cross” by Kathryn Scott. My fave right now…
• I have been devastated to realize that as Carson celebrates her sixth birthday on Thursday that 1/3 of her time under our roof will have passed. That thought makes me nauseous, and I won’t allow myself to hang out there for more than about 2 seconds. She’s missing her daddy too. She took a note he left us and hung it in her room. She fussed at me for sitting in his chair at dinner, and she wants to send him an email – just from her – tomorrow. While she was playing in Campbell’s room, she got on Campbell’s cash register and added 7+7 to find out how many days he would be away (it’s actually going to be 12, so she was happy to hear that).
• God is always such good company. I never look forward to Chris being out of town, but I always anticipate a fresh visit with Him during that time. When Chris is away, He will often speak protection and affection to my heart from His Word, and one of my sweetest encounters with Him was a time when I was feeling very alone in the darkness of night. I prayed that I might feel His company and very shortly thereafter I heard the softest, gentlest rain outside my window. No rumbling. No wind. Just the softest pitter-patter that said, “I’m here…”

Night, night, sweet folks. I’m expecting Company…