What have you abandoned?
I got a question for you. What promise have you abandoned that God has spoken over you? Stay with me; I know that sounds like a kooky question.
There are three specific things I believe that the Lord has spoken over my life; one of which has been fulfilled. I knew that I was to be part of a church start in Florence, and that has come to fruition.
In my early thirties, I received the first – in a time when its fulfillment seemed pretty likely. On my thirty-third birthday, I sensed a boldness to ask for it. I remember the room; I remember the freedom of saying, “God, I want what you have for me!” After that, a lot in my life fell apart, and the possibility of my dream seemed to slip away. It’s reality seemed quite improbable. Now, three years later – as I approach my thirty-sixth birthday – it seems almost impossible.
In September of last year – even unbeknownst to me – I gave up on it. I ditched it. I heard wrong. I made it up. Do you know how many other people dream the same thing? All I do know about that time, right after my grandmother’s death, is that a vacuum cleaner was attached to my mouth and it removed every ounce of joy from the recesses of my soul. I thought it was grief. Then I thought it was the busyness of school starting again. But only very recently have I understood that it was the death of my hope in His promise. It left me joyless.
I kept coming back to the poem by Langston Hughes – “A Dream Deferred.”