The very real danger of buying pajamas too small…

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It was one of those nights you’re just glad no one can see what happens inside your house when the blinds are closed and you and your sweet family lose your dang minds.  My nine year-old certifiably flipped her lid.  It began with whining.  It escalated to yelling. She then stepped it up to screaming with tears as every staple, stitch, and cell that held her together shot out like lethal ammunition at high rates of speed, many of them intentionally aimed in my direction.  She completely disassembled before my eyes over footie pajamas.

It all began innocently enough. The next day was Pajama Day at school.  Well, since we wear our pj’s until they are capris with well ventilated wrists and forearms, we cannot participate in the recent trend of wearing them to the mall.  While I feel like I am supposed to be galled by the imprudence of folks wearing their fuzzy smiley face pajama pants in public, I tend to – in the inmost parts of my soul – call it a stroke of brilliance.  We had to make a purchase.  My Campbell is not a shopper, so I braced myself for the frustration of pushing my big red shopping cart through the narrow maze of girls’ clothing at Target.  To my immediate delight, Sweet Stuff found three pairs of pajamas she liked right away.  One of those being a onesie with feet.  SHE LOVED THEM!  When we arrived at home, she gladly bathed and washed her hair – without any coaxing – so she could put on her new most favorite pajamas.  She was tickled.  She came out to twirl around for me; at which point I noticed that the sleeves were three-quarter length sleeves and the neckline was pulled taut.

They were clearly too small.

She has the waist of a six year-old, the height of an eight-year old and she’s almost ten.  My size guessing had been off, and she did not have the elasticity that night to handle a verdict of, “I’ll exchange them tomorrow.”

Pink fuzzy cheetah print never looked so vicious.  Wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued.  My insistence that we were not keeping too small pajamas elicited, “You’re just being mean!”

She groveled, “Please let me keep them!”

No.

Then she began to bargain…”Can I just sleep in them tonight before you return them.”

No.

She got creative, “I’ll pay you for them, so I can keep them.”

No.

And then she whined desperately, “Can I pay you to just let me sleep in them tonight before you exchange them?”

NO!  NO!  NO!  YOU ARE NOT KEEPING PAJAMAS THAT ARE TOO SMALL!  YOU ARE NOT SLEEPING IN THEM TONIGHT!  YOU CAN WAIT ONE DAY FOR ME TO EXCHANGE THEM!

I yelled.  I reciprocated her insanity and totally lost it.

As we piled in the truck to collect her sister from church, I asked her not to speak to me.  To give me a break.  We rode in silence and after about ten minutes we quietly began to discuss the unfinished homework that needed completing.  We both handled each other with care as our anger was now tempered by regret and breathing room.  We finished out the night without additional fireworks and were even able to poke fun at the hysterics of each other as we recounted the festivities to sister.

After the girls were in bed, I moved slowly about the kitchen – readying breakfast, packing lunches, filling water bottles, washing a few remaining dishes, and I saw myself in her.  I saw how determined I can be to have my way.  Despite reason.  Despite what is best for me.  I whine; I get angry.  I pout; I bargain.  I scream.  I yell, “You’re just being mean!”  Yet God is undeterred by my tantrums.  He will not compromise what is best to pacify.  He is a good, good father.  The best.  And I am so grateful he doesn’t allow me to settle for too small pajamas.

I got people.

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Truth (little t) can be found in lots of places. God can infuse truth about life and humanity into secular music, into popular novels and movies and, yes, even into advertising. A few years ago during tax season, H&R Block cleverly employed the slogan, “We’ve got people. Do you?” That’s sound marketing as they compete with software packages that enable people to do their own taxes at home. Everyone’s afraid of the IRS so they play on the fact that people want somebody to have their backs if the IRS comes callin’. But it’s also truth about humanity.

Everywhere I’ve turned today I have been confronted with the truth that people need people. We all want someone to have our backs. But we don’t all have people. And not all of us even agree that we need our own posse, but we do.

And I’m not necessarily crazy about the truth of that, honestly. People can be problematic and worrisome, and I genuinely struggle with having enough patience and energy for my children when they are particularly needy, so needy adults generally send me over the edge. And that is wrong. Jesus’ priority is people; my priority should be people.

And the rest of the story is that God showers abundant blessings on my life through those He has blessed me with. I have love from people who know what’s wrong with me and love me still. As cantankerous and moody and pointy as I can be at times – they love me still. As problematic, worrisome, and needy as I can be at times – they love me still. I’m grateful for my people, and I will continue to pray for a heart that reflects His.

I’ve been in places where I didn’t have close friends – just many acquaintances, and that is hard.  More than hard.  But I personally believe that God honors prayers from His children who are hungry for community. And when opportunities arise, we have to put ourselves out there.

People are strange and often hard to figure, but roll with it and see what God has in store.

Do you have people?  What is your biggest obstacle to pursuing real deal community in your life?

In the gym just working on my fitness (Part Three)

You get out what you put in. Period.

True, don’t you agree?

Which led me to surmise that the same is true of other areas of life as well. Our relationship with Christ, in particular.

I think maybe we don’t get that a lot of times. We will use verses like Ephesians 2:8-9 (For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast) to let ourselves off the hook. Undeniably, Jesus does the work of salvation. To be saved, we just put our faith in His saving grace and confess our need for Him. Done deal.

Not what I’m talking about though…

To live in a vibrant relationship with Jesus, we have work to do. We can be slackers, or moderately serious, fakers, or highly motivated. And our individual intimacy with Christ will directly reflect our level of commitment – as outwardly and as obviously as fitness does.

I’ll put myself out there on this one. I’ve gained twenty pounds in the past year, and if you studied my workout habits and my eating habits you would conclude that I am not consistently determined to lose that weight. And you would be correct.

The same is often true of my pursuit of Christ. Sporadic. Half-hearted. Motivated. Distracted. Disinterested. On fire. Whichever the case, the same is always true –

I get out what I put in.

Always.

We are to work out our salvation (Philippians 2:12). Let us pursue Him in honest prayer. Let us praise Him, come what may… Let us spend our days in constant conversation with Him. Let’s feast on His Word, hiding it in our hearts. Let us make hard choices to do what is best. Let us obey and serve Him and others. Let us be courageous in His Name. Let us delight in His goodness.

To share with you what He is echoing to me, HE IS ENOUGH! Period.

Let’s be consistently determined to pursue Him.

Agree?  Have you found this to be true of your own relationship with Jesus?  How’s 2015 going so far with regards to your relationship with him?

In the gym just working on my fitness (Part Two)

Well, like I was saying, gym folk are funny. When I go to the gym, I go to get sweaty and stinky, and I dress accordingly. I do not shower to go to the gym. I do not shave to go to the gym. I do not wear coordinating clothes to the gym. Most of the time people who know me at the gym, do not recognize me outside of the gym. That’s just my deal; I don’t have time, money, or desire to be fashionable and fabulous at the gym. I go to the gym to work hard in hopes of looking fabulous outside of the gym.

Sometimes I workout before lunch, and during that time I mostly see other moms and retired people. We are a moderately serious crowd with a few hard core folks sprinkled in. During the afternoon, there’s a relaxed crowd until 5:30. At that point the highly motivated and very muscled people arrive along with the beautiful people, who exert more energy flirting than exercising. That time slot stresses me out a bit. The weekend is saved for the two ends of the spectrum: the slackers and the psychos.

Don’t get mad, I’m just havin’ fun with some generalizations…

I see people run at breakneck speeds wearing trashbags. I see people who never sweat. I see people jack their treadmills on such a high incline that I expect them to come rolling off the back at any minute and those whose belt is barely moving. I see people who are there every time I go and lots of unfamiliar faces too. I see people wearing jeans to workout and some who wear almost nothing. I see people who are so drenched in sweat that they look like they’ve come in from a rain storm and those whose make-up has never smeared and hair has never been displaced. It takes all kinds, I guess.

But I am struck by truth. You get out what you put in. Period. How are you seeing this play out in your own life right now – either positively or negatively? Not necessarily with regard to fitness, but in any area.

The Beholder

I am not a woman who creates beautiful things, but I sincerely applaud and even turn a shade of green at the acknowledgement of those of you who are. In brainstorming for this post, I wanted to share the process of something beautiful I have created, but I honestly stared blankly into an empty portfolio. I could only think of one handsome apple pie I baked and the time – long ago – when Carson said, “Mama, I wish I could color as good as you” – the crowning compliment of my artistic ventures. Oh yeah, I did paint our cat’s water bowl and a soap dish in our bathroom (which is really meant to be a sushi dish). And I can strategically place tissue paper in a gift bag or basket and make it look adequate. That’s it, I’m afraid.

So, I confess. I cannot take a twig, a scrap of ribbon, a feather, a plum, a few fern fronds, and a piece of bubblegum and make a glorious centerpiece. I do not prepare meals that are aesthetically appealing. I am at a loss when it comes to decorating. I cannot sew. I am inept at arranging flowers. I do not grow beautiful things and have, therefore, relinquished that duty to my husband, who is much better at it than I am. I am unable to make a pleasant sound with my voice or any other instrument under the sun. I am not crafty, and I do not smock (is that even a real verb?). I am dangerous with a hot glue gun but not in a creative sense, and I cannot work magic with a spool of ribbon. I do not tie well-formed bows, not on a gift or a dress. Back in the day I seriously stopped buying dresses for my daughters that required me to tie a bow. Those two long strips of fabric on the sides of a dress taunted me and dared me to put my deficiency on display on the backsides of my darlings, and I refused and instituted my own personal boycott.

Furthermore, I have spent my life surrounded by women who are beauty engineers: my Nana, my mom, my stepmother, my aunt, my mother-in-law, great friends. They can work miracles with paint and pastries and photographs and flowers and baskets and bows, and they are generous enough to bail me out when my life has required something beautiful from me (creative art projects for school, home improvement projects, gifts, entertaining, etc…).

Lest I need therapy before I finish writing this, I have discovered my role here. I am a beholder. My life is richer because of the beauty that surrounds me – whether it’s lyrics and a beat that so precisely articulate my heart or candlelight or a Clemson sunset or the furious flapping of a hummingbird or the funky paintings hanging on the walls of a coffeehouse. I see it on the face of a smiling child, in the patterns and stitches of a quilt made by my Nana, in the lush wildness of an uninterrupted forest, and in a poignant photograph of people I don’t even know. My experience with beauty often shocks my system and causes me to catch my breath and stare; I am hungry to live in that state of wonder and awe regarding the beauty and complexity around me. I am content to be a beholder.

But I am more. I am the daughter of the Creator of beautiful things. All beauty and truth find their origin in Him, and He whispers that I am more. I am an object of beauty – not because of my appearance or my intelligence or even my goodness or kindness – simply because I’m His. Like any proud father, He gushes that He is “enthralled by [my] beauty” (Psalm 45:11) and yours. And I think that’s just beautiful…