In the Still of the Night
In the still of the night I am a more gentle, compassionate, patient, and tender parent than I am otherwise. And I can say that now as the mother of a six year-old and a three year-old, who – for the most part – are good sleepers in their own beds. So I beg the pardon of any new parents who are slugging through some of the hardest days I’ve ever encountered; your plight is blessed and almost intolerable. Chris and I have had some of our most heated exchanges in the wee hours of virtually sleepless nights. I also ask the forgiveness of any who have little ones who don’t sleep well. I can only write this post because it is a fairly rare occurrence that my beauty rest is disturbed.
And I only make this observation because it is so counterintuitive, especially given how much I treasure my sleep. But with this mystery malady (fever, cough, runny nose, hurtin’ tummies) the girls have contracted, there has been increased nocturnal activity around our house. And I love to swoop in as the midnight superhero to hold and snuggle and reassure and comfort. Campbell has nightmares, and I find great pleasure in wrapping myself around her to make her feel safe and secure. She slept on top of me on the couch for a portion of last night. Carson awoke in the wee of the day feeling puny, and I savored tucking her in right beside me to help her settle back into the rest her little body needs. There is something about the innocence and vulnerability of their sleepy, puffy faces wet with tears and their preciously unruly bed hair. The mischief of the day is gone; the defiance has drained away and is replaced by pure dependence and need.
I, in some half-awake way, enjoy scooping them up in the grey of our scantily lit house and pouring out love and security and safety the best way I know how. And I think this is such a dear time to me because I vividly remember many nights – during all seasons of my life – where I was unable to sleep and felt some of the most acute loneliness and fear that I’ve ever felt. And they’ll experience that too, but it won’t be on their momma’s watch…
And I am struck by my own dim understanding of His tenderness toward us when we approach with tear-stained dependence and vulnerability, all defiance having faded away…
Girl doll she most resembles, so Kit has been part of our life for a while now. We’ve bought coordinating outfits, bought some of her furniture and accessories, and read some of her books. We saw the movie yesterday, and it’s a great family movie – very well done and eerily relevant (Kit lives during the Great Depression) as our economy continues to tank. Thought it was covertly educational and eye-opening for Carson. Kit is not a girly girl at all; she wants to be a reporter and she and her friends solve a town mystery. She has a couple of friends who are boys, so older boys may enjoy the movie too although it is not an action kinda deal. We may even go see it again at the theater, and we will definitely purchase it when it becomes available. Do take my rave in proper context though; we have been enjoying Kit for a while and have long anticipated the movie…
I am well aware of the fact that I am not a City Girl, but I always thought I could hang in the city – at least for a short stay. Chris and I have always wanted to live in an upstairs city apartment over a downtown storefront or office, and that is still something we would like to do in a different season of our lives. But Charlotte and Greenville and Charleston are more my speed, I discovered…
were walking in front of the car as we were scrambling to find the hotel and avoid driving the wrong direction on one-way streets. Fortunately, there were no pedestrian roadkills, but it was close more than a few times. The city was immediately noisy and busy and crowded and loud and impolite, and I was overwhelmed. I think I experienced sensory overload where I just crawled into myself and decided I hated it! It was overcast and gloomy (I couldn’t even see the top of the Golden Gate Bridge as we approached because it was cloaked in clouds). We had a quiet – almost despondent- dinner in Sausalito.
We’re back!!!! And thankfully so. We had an amazing trip, but we are tickled to be home. We spent two nights in Carmel (in a dog hotel), two nights in Napa (in a “green” hotel – not the color), and three nights (in a Union Square dead-middle-of-the-city hotel) in San Francisco. And I’ll try not to bore you too terribly with trip details, but I really had some neat experiences and made some interesting observations (mainly about myself) while we were there. So there may be a couple of vacation posts to follow… Here are some of my vacation superlatives:
